Sunday, September 5, 2010

I made an oath....

I made a silly oath to be a better blogger....
To post more often....
silly really, but it is cathartic and therapeutic, so why not?
So,...where have I been all week??

Many of you read my sisters blog and know that this week my family has been in crisis.
You just didn't know that it was my family as well because many of you don't know that Wendy is my sister.

Well she is my sister and my best friend.

When she called me with the news on Monday that John (her husband) had been seriously injured in a car accident I did what any sister would do. I worried. I prayed. And I worried more.
The next day when my mom called to tell me that my dad (who still thinks he is Indiana Jones even though he is now 73 years old) had fallen while trimming the branches high in a tree in our back yard, and had broken his hip and a disc in his back, I worried, and prayed, and cried.

They both has extensive surgery, and both surgeries went well.

By Friday my dad was having so many complications that they couldn't keep him conscious long enough to have a lucid conversation. Then my Steve held me and tried to book me an immediate flight to Utah while I cried, and worried, and prayed.
About one hour later when Steve had finally found a decent flight and was about to buy the ticket Wendy called me to tell me that my dad had taken a turn for the better. His oxygen levels had improved, he was awake and lucid, and he was having conversations with them. He was "out of the woods".

After a long talk with my mom we decided that it would be best for me to "stay put" for now with my four children who just started their school year, and my husband who has a very important business trip next week. Both my dad and John have long and painful recoveries ahead of them and it was "decided" that I would be of more use when they are both home from the hospital and my mother and my sister are trying to be super women and taking care of them an their own.

Although I have to agree with the logic, I feel helpless tonight.

Here I sit 11 hours away from some of my dearest loved ones and I am utterly useless.
I know that Wendy is spent emotionally and physically and I can't even wrap my arms around her.
I know that my mom is putting on a brave face while she crumbles inside.

I want to hug my daddy. I am still his baby.

It has been a draining week and I have nothing to show for it but more worry lines.
(Oh who am I kidding,...they are wrinkles.)
So that's where I have been all week!
On the phone for hours on end,
being the chauffeur to my kiddos,
pacing around my house with my nerves fried,
eating far far far too much. (Stress eating?)
And,...being helpless and useless and homesick.

I have to say thank you to so many people who follow my sisters blog and who have given her so much heart felt support. I am amazed by the love and the bond that is formed in this little corner of blog land where none of us have ever even met each other, yet the compassion is palpable, and the support is almost tangible. My dad and John are healing and I know that this has a great deal to do with so many prayers that have been offered in their behalf. It is such a comfort to know that there are still so many people in the world who have faith and will pray for a stranger because they have compassion in their hearts.
It has been a scary week, but I am fully aware that my family is very blessed. After all, my dad and John are both still with us and according to the doctors that in and of itself is a miracle.

p.s.  I haven't been completely unproductive,...I did what any logical person would do in the middle of a breakdown. I painted nearly every thing in my house white. (well,...ivory, or antique white. cream?)
I don't know why. Neutral colors just really calm me down.
White on white on white.........
Anyway,...I will post some of my many white pieces of home decor soon.
Thank you for letting me have a place to unload.

This is my cute dad in a newspaper article done by the Deseret News.
He collects and restores vintage cars.


Rachel Noelle Pallas said...

~*~Im so sorry to hear about your father and brother in law.I follow your blog and your sisers and your family is in my prayers~*~ On a lighter note: cant wait to see the furniture you painted white! ;) Blessings,Rachel~*~*

Zuzana said...

Dearest Holly, I do not read your sister blog thus I was unaware of your family's trouble, for which I am truly sorry...
Not long ago you wrote wonderfully about the time you have spend together and I can understand knowing she is in pain over her husbands accident must hurt you even more. Not to mention your dad...
I know you are just barely recovering from a tragedy last year, therefore I am happy to hear all is getting better...
Hang in there my sweet friend, my prayers and thoughts are with you and yours.

PS: Your dad looks like a very kind and gentle man.

Kathy's Red Door Welcome said...

I read your sisters blog but I haven't had time to read any blogs as of late. I'm so sorry to hear about your family crisis. It sounds like you have an amazing bond with your family and there is simply nothing better than that. Prayers are coming your way!

Celestial Charms said...

Your family will be added to my prayer list. I know exactly how you feel about being so far away and helpless. Several weeks ago, my 81 year old father fell and broke his hip. He too had surgery, and has been having a hard time recouping. He goes back and forth from the hospital to the rehabilitation center, and I'm thousands of miles away. Like your Dad, mine is being attended to by other family members, but I'm the one that feels helpless. The worst part is that I'm used to speaking at length to my father everday on the phone. Now, because it is difficult for him to move, he can't answer his room phone. So our conversations are confined to just a few moments, every few days. I hope you family members get on the road to recovery fast.

Wendy said...

Holls...This is a beautiful post. You are so eloquent when I am so clumsy with my words. Thank you for summing up what has happened so beautifully. I can picture you pacing around your house...I did that very same thing the night of John's accident while trying to figure out what to do and how to do it. I'm sorry, because I know how frustrating it feels. But I really can feel your love all the way's that strong. Thank you for that...and I just LOVE that picture of Dad!

Holly Lefevre said...

I just popped over here and I am so sorry to hear about all this sad news. I will be sending my prayers and best wishes your way. Your post was beautifully written...when you said "you are still his baby" I had tears in my true. I am a new follower as well.

504 Main

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

I'm so sorry Holly, Speaking from experience (many of them) they will need you more after the respective Dad, and BIL have been home for about 4 days. Hang on - You'll have plenty of time to help.

Sonia Barton

Sorry it didn't make sense the first time.

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